Walking is good.

I went to put on a pair of jeans yesterday and I nearly died trying to get them on. Holy hell, I gained weight? For the love of all things that a fair, how did that happen? Oh yeah, leading a sedentary lifestyle, eating chocolate, cookies, egg nog, and many other fattening things and not exercising. Flip, I hate being fat.

I detest New Year's resolutions and never make them. Last year I decided to make some changes to me to better myself. I did pretty good but didn't reach all my goals. I can't dwell on the past - its time to start again, put the past failures behind me and keep moving forward.

 One thing I do to sabotage myself is making the excuse that the only place I can get a good workout is at the gym, which feels like its 100 miles away most mornings. I use the excuse that I can't get to the gym (for what ever lame reason) so I will just exercise tomorrow. I'm calling bull shit on that right now. I live in a nice neighborhood with quiet, safe streets. Why not just take a brisk walk around it if I can't go to the gym? So that's what I did this morning.

I updated the iPod, threw on my matching warm up suit, knit hat and gloves and I hit the road. I walked 1.28 miles in 30 minutes and took 3,410 steps. Not too bad for a fat girl. It felt really good and my right foot isn't hurting me at all. It was a good way to start out the day. I had 30 minutes to myself, got to listen to my favorite songs and the air is actually mostly clean and I could breath! Win-win I think.

When I got home, I decided on having a good breakfast to cap off my workout. Are you a grapefruit fan? I really like it drenched in sugar. I love the gritty texture of the sugar with the soft, squishy texture of the fruit. But adding a ton of sugar isn't a good idea, so how to get the sweet without the sugar? Bananas. They are sweet and pair nicely with the sour citrus. This is one of my favorite salads to make too when ever I have to bring a fruit salad. I usually add in some black berries, blue berries or anything else I've got when I do it in salad form.

You will see from the picture half of a cherry turnover. Yes, I ate it. Yes, it was marvelously good. Yes, I enjoyed every flaky, sweet, sticky bite. No, I don't feel guilty about it. A half a turnover is a huge step for me. I bought two yesterday at Sunflower Market with the full intention of eating them both yesterday. But I didn't. Rest assured I will enjoy them before they go bad, but not today. Today I've had a taste and that's all I'm having.

I added my breakfast to My Net Diary and it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was 314 calories, eight grams of fat (all from the turnover) and 61 carbs (ouch!). The turnover and its 16 evil carbs really put me over the edge of my goal of 30-45 grams of carbs per meal. Live and learn.

Today (so far) I have succeeded. I'm a third of the way to my 10,000 steps, I'm not craving anything or hungry and I feel good. In the battle of girl vs. fat, girl won today. Ooh-rah.

To swim or not to swim...that is the question

I'm having a bitchy day today. No real rhyme or reason, just a bad day. In my effort to improve all aspects of myself, I've been trying very hard not to take my bad mood out on my family. It hasn't been easy since every thing they do tramples my last good nerve. I've heard exercise makes you feel better. While I was skeptical at first, I can honestly say it does! Who knew?

Instead of wallowing in bitchiness I decided to take my family to the pool. I didn't realize the pool didn't open until 11 a.m. (we got there at 10:30) so while James took Bridget into the gym, I went and walked around the pool for 30 minutes.

It felt good.

I've reached a point where I'm so out of shape and fat that life just isn't as much fun as it used to be. I hate having to take a few moments after I walk up a flight of stairs because I'm huffing and puffing so hard. I hate feeling uncomfortable in my jeans because they are tight. I'd like to tell you I'm turning over a new leaf but breaking 35 years of bad habits is hard! But I'm counting today as a victory and already looking forward to tomorrow's work out.

Eating is going to be the challenge for me I think because no matter how hard you work out, you have to be eating well too. Its been a struggle for me with James home during the day but I'm trying to get all three of us on a schedule of good breakfast, lunch and dinners with a few healthy snacks thrown in there.

Thank you to everyone who has followed our blog this year. Stick with us. This story will have a happy ending, it's just going to take some time.

Learning from past mistakes . . .

So it has been over a week since my last post about changing my life, and I have to say I am quite proud of myself. I haven't been to the gym every day, but I have been a lot. My house (with the exception of Paige's mess of a room) has been clean all week and I haven't spent money like a crazy woman. I say that is pretty good for me!!!

One thing that I have really been working on is not being too hard on myself. I missed going to the gym yesterday, and the old me would have spiraled out of control and stopped all together. But the new me said it was ok. I am going to the gym today and everything will be fine.

Thanks so much to all the people who have supported in this crazy weight loss fiasco. It mean so much that there is so many people who love me!

xoxo
Tonya