Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Still sore

Ugh, I'm feeling lamer than usual. My first work out with the trainer went so good I'm still hurting, mostly in my arms. It's feeling slightly better today though so quit wussing, right? I'm going to celebrate Alyse's birthday tonight with a massage and a piece of cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory - there, I said it.

I'm also planning on swimming laps tonight so I'm hoping that if I don't go over board at dinner (no guarantees) I won't completely negate my whole day. Trying to be positive today because lately life has been tough.

Isn't it amazing how hard life can be sometimes? I'm an emotional eater and when I feel down, food tries to act as a buffer. It doesn't make me feel better, actually it makes me feel worse when I'm done eating like shit. Why do I do it? That's a good question, one that will have to have an answer or I will be fat forever.

Last night after an extraordinarily dull City Council meeting (imagine that) I was feeling a little blue. I could have wallowed in it - I wallow well - but I turned up the radio as loud as I could to the peppiest song I could find and I started to feel better. It was amazing. I decided we don't have enough happy music around our house and that needs to change.

I am going swimming tonight after my date with cheesecake and I plan to swim for an hour. Yay for me. I love swimming and am actually looking forward to it.

I'm also a little freaked out that I put my actual weight on the internet for anyone to see. Brave or stupid? I guess admitting is the first step to being free but it makes me nervous. Hmmm....

Peace out,



  1. Brenda I am so proud of you! I love you tons and it is ok to have that cheesecake tonight. maybe only have half of it tonight and the other half later. Just don't eat anything else from Cheese Cake Factory. That is the unhealthiest place in America! I read on Eat This Not That that the Factory Burger is the best thing you can get on the menu pretty much. The idyllic-sounding Grilled Chicken and Avocado Club has 1,752 calories! That is more than I can eat in a day! Crazy talk!!! Love you!


  2. So, the other day I was watching Oprah....heeheehee
    but really I was and they were talking about a book called "Women, Food and God." It's about why we as women abuse food (or whatever else your addiction is, but mostly food) and how to get over that, "I feel like shit so I'm going to eat a whole cake and then feel even more like shit" thoughts and actions we have. It's on my list to read for sure, I need to feel better about myself and my appearance. Anyways, your comments about being an emotional eater made me think of the book.
    Have a good swim tonight - that's the ONLY thing I miss from High School! You're amazing!
    P.S. Tonya... can't believe you're all grown up with a little girl!!!