I feel victorious. I stared temptation in the eye and kicked it in the juice box. Last night, as I spent my entire evening lounging on the love seat and watching seven hours of "Glee" (I'd never seen it, can you imagine?) I wrestled with an idea that a week ago, I would have jumped on.
Let me preface this by telling you something about me. One method of food control I've found is not buying food I know isn't good for me. If its not in my house, I'm less inclined to get off my fat butt and drive to the store to pick some up. A personal weakness for me is cereal and heavy cream. Oh, yeah. A little (or a lot, depending on the day) with the cereal and milk. Sweet, cold, creamy, crunchy....I have to stop right now.
As I'm watching "Glee" and trying to decide who to have a new TV crush on, I sat there and wondered what was wrong with me. I was watching this show and silently obsessing about food and not paying attention to cute men, dancing and singing. Holy Hell, what is wrong with me?!
The same old nasty thought popped into my head - have a little treat, its Sunday. You can start again tomorrow. Its the same nasty little demon that's been chillin' on my shoulder for the last 35 years.
I went to bed at 2 a.m., satisfied not only because I have new TV crushes but also because I didn't fall back into old habits. I enjoyed myself on Sunday, ate lovely buttermilk waffles with buttermilk dressing (I won't share the recipes because they are so fattening but if you really want them, message me) and had a delicious dinner of roasted potatoes and chicken. It doesn't mean I'm going to throw away all my progress for one bowl of cereal. My day wasn't as low calorie or low fat as its been this past week, but I had a good day, enjoyed myself and for once didn't let food dictate how I felt about myself and fill a "void" that wasn't really there.
Eating a little less rigidly on Sunday was liberating. It gave me something to look forward to in the week and a reminder that cheating only cheats me, no one else. I feel good. I'll be weighing in today or tomorrow. Hopefully we're still on the downward slide!